Road Stories

Klondike Bill Uses Kielbasa to Satisfy Woman

Klondike Bill is a name most modern fans may not be familiar with, but his name resurfaced after Tony Schiavone told an unforgettable story about him on an episode of his “What Happened When” podcast with Conrad Thompson.

Date: Unknown
Location: Unknown
Source: What Happened When Podcast with Tony Schiavone & Conrad Thompson

Klondike Bill mainly wrestled in the 1960s and 1970s in Stampede Wrestling for Stu Hart in Canada. He wrestled elsewhere, but was never a huge star. Still, his blue collar character and look left an impression with fans who saw him. And by all accounts, he was a ton of fun to be around outside the ring, and was very well liked and respected by his peers.

As his in-ring career drew to a close, he was brought in by Jim Crockett to be an operations manager. He’d help haul and set up the rings and guard rails in the Mid-Atlantic Wrestling days, as well as set up the buildings and do promotions. This carried forward to the NWA days even the WCW days, although he was rarely acknowledged on television (he once did a scene with Eric Bischoff in the Monday night wars era).

Since he was around the crew all the time, they got to know him well during some of the downtime. While Klondike Bill would not be considered classically handsome or good-looking, Tony Schiavone said point blank, “He got more p*ssy than anybody.” While some wondered if this was because Bill had a certain charm or inner game, the truth is that he bedded so many women because he had no standards. Schiavone implied Bill would sleep with almost anything, and thus, he never slept alone.

Bill would often tell his sordid sex stories to Schiavone, and one in particular stood out. He was with a woman in his hotel room, and for whatever reason, she couldn’t reach orgasm. Bill tried and tried, but no luck. Finally he gave up and got a Kielbasa sausage from the refrigerator, and rinsed it under warm water to get it more flexible. He then inserted the Kielbasa sausage inside the woman’s vagina and tried to get her off.

He thought this would do the trick, but stubbornly, she still could not finish. Exhausted and all out of ideas, Klondike Bill gave up and they both went to sleep.

That story is humorous enough, but the kicker was at the end. When Schiavone asked him what he did with the sausage, Klondike Bill replied nonchalantly, “Oh we broke it in half the next morning and served it up with some eggs.”

Bill wasn’t even going to tell that part of the story until he was asked. It was such a trivial part of the story to him, that it became THE best part of the story.

One has to now wonder if Klondike Bill got his name by rubbing Klondike Bars over a woman’s breasts in order to get her her aroused.  What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?  Ask a Canadian ring rat in the 1970s and you might get some interesting answers.